After getting married we immediately started trying to get pregnant. We were unsuccessful and then went through three rounds of IVF over a couple of years. During this process we were already talking about adopting. We decided that even if we managed to conceive and have one child we would adopt a second child as we didn’t want to go through IVF again. After the third failed attempt we decided to move on to adoption to start our family.
I had always felt it was something I wanted to do as during my years as a primary school teacher I had taught many children with appalling home lives and always felt I could offer a loving home to a child who was in need.
We found the adoption approval process intense but no harder than we expected it to be. The courses we went on were fantastic and so helpful in preparing us for what lay ahead. Our social worker was brilliant. We trusted her completely to find the right children for us as she had got to know us well and was obviously very experienced and good at her job.
The only part that made us feel uncomfortable was the search for our children. It felt so wrong looking through all the profiles like it was a catalogue and we felt guilty about every child we said no to.
We knew we wanted more than one child but we were open to the possibility of adopting a single child first and then adopting again further down the line or adopting siblings together. We just waited to see which children or child felt right for us.
It was an amazing feeling when the match was made. We were really excited and I felt quite desperate to meet them and have them move in as quickly as possible. The time between matching and introductions starting felt like forever! The first few days of introductions were incredible but exhausting. We couldn’t believe our luck that we were parents to these two amazing children and couldn’t wait to get them home.
The first few weeks of them being at home with us were quite a shock. We were both aware that it would not be easy and that the children would be traumatised and would probably have behaviour issues but, I think what surprised me most was how hard it was to adjust to not having my own life anymore and having two children depend on me for everything.
It was definitely challenging going from no children to two children over night! I did find it quite a difficult in the early days taking them both out on my own and I used to look at my friends who had adopted a single child and think how much easier that would have been. I wouldn’t have it any other way now! We are also very glad not to have to go through the adoption process again and we can just get on with our lives.
We have been through many ups and downs during the four years since they moved in and we have certainly been through some challenges but overall we have been incredibly lucky with our children. They’re both absolutely amazing and they’re doing very well. Most of the time we don’t even think about the fact that they’re adopted. They’re just our children and we get on with our lives as a family.
Seeing their bond with each other is lovely. They play together and entertain each other and are a comfort to one another. It’s very special for them that they are each other’s constant in life.
Go for it! It can be hard but it’s so worth it! I am so glad we adopted our whole family in one go and I really wouldn’t have it any other way.