After our last failed fertility treatment we both agreed we definitely wanted children and that adoption was the way forward. We always said we would consider siblings as we knew we wanted more than one child.
We had no idea what to expect from adoption but we’ve only had a very positive experience. We felt at the time that it was a long process, but looking back it was all very quick. Your childhood and past relationships are delved into, but we had nothing to hide and knew we could offer a loving home to a child or children who needed it.
We clicked with our social worker right away. We adopted two boys together and then our social worker was with us again for the adoption of our daughter nine years later!
Being matched was an amazing feeling! I wanted to know everything about the boys. Luckily the foster carers were lovely and we were welcomed into their home and treated as part of the family.
Introductions were surreal. Even though we were made to feel so welcome, it was awkward at first. The children were so used to the foster carers and went to them if they needed anything, but slowly after each day progress was made and they started to come to us.
When my husband went back to work I found it hard on my own having two toddlers with their own personalities and I think I suffered a bit of post adoption stress. I struggled for about three or four months thinking I was doing everything wrong, that the boys didn’t love me, that maybe I didn’t love them like I should. But I opened up and spoke about these worries, and cried down the phone to my social worker who told me everything I was feeling was all totally normal. It passed and talking was the best thing.
Both boys have had therapy through the adoption support fund for different reasons and this has been fantastic for them. The boys have a bond, proper brotherly love – one minute they love each other and the next they are arguing and bickering. I’m so happy we could offer them a loving home, rather than them having to be separated or staying in long term care.
Adoption is so rewarding. The changes you see in the children from having a loving, nurturing upbringing is remarkable. I would definitely recommend adoption as without it we wouldn’t be the family that we are now.