Adopting a sibling group can be challenging; listen to the experiences of a couple in Devon who adopted a group of five…
We wanted to adopt because we always knew we wanted children. As a gay couple there were a couple of options open to us, but it the end it seemed like the better and more logical thing to do was to adopt. We wanted children and there were children who needed a family. We always wanted a sibling group…from day one. We both come from large families and wanted to replicate our experiences. A large family just seemed the norm for us.
Adoption is pretty much exactly as we had thought. That is all thanks to the fantastic preparation we had with FFC and in particular our social workers Penny and Eric. They always made sure that we fully understood the enormity of what we were taking on and always encouraged us to remove our rose-tinted spectacles when we were getting carried away. They introduced us to other families who adopted so we could see what life was going to be like and the challenges adopting can bring.
Whilst the process was hard it was also incredibly informative and useful. It allowed us to be open and honest with each other as well as FFC, and to ask as many questions as we wanted, we also challenge ourselves and our thinking about adopted children and what our lives could be like. It also opened up the adoption conversation in a positive way with our families and our friends.
Feelings changed a lot. At first we felt excited for the changes but very quickly followed shock that our quiet house was now so noisy and full and we had responsibility for these other lives and we had to get it right….or mostly right all the time. It was quite daunting but also it was incredibly rewarding. We knew from the moment that they ran through the door that this was our family – no matter what happened next.
The advice we would give to people considering adoption is to be open and honest from day one. Talk about your fears and concerns with FFC. Then the most important thing for us is to listen to the advice and guidance from the team. They really have seen it all and we will always want to take support when and where we can get it.
We are very much centred on our family and have been since they arrived. So we celebrate the successes and the joys. It’s our normal…which is to say it’s a pretty normal family life. Noisy, fun, always changing and always rewarding.